A Matter of Taste

It seems that the celebration of Christmas comes earlier every year. I don't know if it's true loathing of Thanksgiving and leftover turkey sandwiches or a lack of interest in the Macy's Day Parade now that Macy's has diluted the brand with Bon-Macy's, Burdines-Macy's, Goldsmith's-Macy's, Lazarus-Macy's and Rich's-Macy's. Who knows?

What I do know is that neighborhood exterior decorators now skip right from Halloween into Christmas. The puckered, gap-toothed pumpkins disappear the same day the strange nodding white deer show up to graze in select lawns. The deer often hide among a stand of circular-wound lighted trees that roughly resemble miniature evergreens.

The timing bothers me but perhaps only because I have to look at these holiday aberrations longer every year. On top of it all, there's simply no accounting for taste.

Traditional Christmas decorations have been elbowed out by a mob of swaying fan-powered PVC lawn Santas and digitally choreographed metal trees performing synchronized lighting themes in a spiral of multi-colored flashes. Strobes blare emphasis on house mounted wreathes and flapping red ribbons.

I'm an "old fart" Christmas holiday traditionalist. In fact, I'm so old I remember the strawberry-sized bulbs that came only in primary colors. I probably have a few strands stored away in a box of old Christmas decorations someplace, because they were non-disposable.

The light strings required a careful examination every year before they went up. Blown bulbs would be replaced carefully so as not to bounce the lights off the floor and ruin otherwise functioning bulb filaments. Bulbs with chips in the color would be replaced with shiny new ones, mindful of keeping the proper color sequence. The light strings were designated either strictly for outdoor use or inside only. I'm not sure why, they looked the same.

The inside bulbs had handy metal clips attached to the base of the bulb. This made for handy attachment to the tree branches so that the bulbs could be judiciously placed for proper spacing and color mix. A talented tree lighting specialist was considered an artist.

Once the lights were mounted to the specialist's satisfaction, the second team would come in to hang the ornaments and tinsel. Ornaments required the same equal spacing and the tinsel would be hung one strand at a time to get the right look. No shortcuts.

Crusty old curmugeon I am, over the years I've conceded the large bulbs and tinsel to strings of small disposable lights and garlands. Lights are mostly white now, but that's strictly a matter of personal taste. The multi-colored lights don't throw me off.

I prefer a few window wreathes and have caved to the icicle lights that hang classically from the eaves and follow the roof outline around the house. My sacrifice to tradition, I suppose. I just can't abide the swaying PVC lawn Santas.